OMG, you guys, I just stumbled across the Next Big Thing. Don’t try to steal it, because my readership is so small that I probably know where you live.
This morning I finally found the gray, fleece-lined leggings I’ve been looking everywhere for tucked into the cushions of the big red chair, which isn’t surprising because you could lose entire extended families in that chair. I showed them to Jim, who squinted at them skeptically.
Jim: they’re awfully small.
Me: they stretch, see? (I tried to stretched them out wide but they didn’t actually stretch that far.)
Me: Well, I bought them in New York, so they’re probably some kind of New York M/L, which is like a size 4.
For no reason I can possibly explain, I then put them on my head like a hat.
Jim: What. The… What exactly are you going for here?
Me: (lifting them up a bit) They’re big, droopy bunny ears, see?
Jim: Yeah, okay. I was thinking more like those head things the kids have that have pockets at the end of them.
Me: I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, but this could totally be a hat. A hat with a built-in scarf. OH MY GOD! That’s brilliant! They would always match, and they would never get separated!
I ran over to the mirror to admire my legging hat with the legs draped jauntily about my neck.
Me: And then when you don’t want a hat, you could turn it around and it would keep the back of your neck warm! This is totally going to make us a million dollars.
Jim: Or you could drape the underwear part in the front to keep your neck warm, like a dickey. That’s what I’m always trying to do with my scarf, is spread it flat so that it keeps my chest warm where my coat opens.
Me: OMG yes! An underwear dickey, you are brilliant! OR…it could be a bib. NOW how much would you pay!?
Jim: And all you really have to do is repackage existing leggings.
Me: AND this is New Jersey, I’m sure those things fall of of trucks all the time! It’d be like FREE money!
Jim: Free felony money!
This is another reason we’re married: anyone else would have me committed, but Jim actually humors my crazy. Probably because he knows I lack the initiative and motivation to follow through.
Actually, on second thought? If you love this idea, you should totally run with it and just give me 5% in perpetuity for the concept. I would totally accept that in return for you doing all the work. Have your people talk to my people.