Snarkeling

Just beneath the surface of normal

Who ARE You People?

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You’re weird and curious and annoyed – I like you!

Following The Bloggess’ lead, I’ve decided to post my search terms, because they’re strange and hilarious. I’ve only been doing this for a few months, so I can show my all-time terms instead of a single term:

Search terms

I always assumed that the really long one that sort of rhymes was some kind of song lyric. It isn’t. Just someone who really really doesn’t want to talk.

Lots of these make fine sense and I understand why they’re here. But then there’s “Dionne Warwick a vampire” and I begin to wonder about the person on the other end. Were they searching because they are genuinely concerned about the health of Dionne Warwick and the people around her? Or is this more of a metaphoric vampirism? Are they serious or silly? Are they alone? Which is where my line of speculation starts getting creepy and I move on.

“Neck sounds like breaking glass”? Oh dear. I really hope you’re okay. You should probably get that checked out. I mean, my neck gets a little crunchy sometimes, but never ever does it sound like GLASS.

My newest search term came today: “penis sleeve banner.” I don’t know why they are, but I desperately want to know because WHAT?! You, sir or madam, are the type of absurd I can probably relate to most. Welcome!

Finally, a word of caution: If you thought you were Googling weird things in total secrecy, rest assured that strangers somewhere are looking at your search terms right now and scratching their heads. They don’t know who you are, or why you searched for it, but they’re having a lot of fun making up stories about it. If you want real secrecy? Use incognito mode. But know that you are depriving the internet of the joy of a good “WTF?!”  I so desperately want to know what those 34 unknown search terms are and it breaks my heart that I never will. I like to assume they were super-weird, like those guys who like speculum porn, or some radiology resident vanity searching himself and assuming that the hot one I mentioned earlier MUST be him.

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