Just beneath the surface of normal

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I’m Not Dead Yet

Um, hi. Anyone still here?

So first, the requisite excuses: Back in late September, we went to Maker Faire in New York which totally overstimulated me AND I caught a really bad cold/flu thing, which led to bronchitis, which led to me zoning out in a chair and learning to crochet obsessively for like a month. I was also too out of it to write, so it was probably not the best idea to continue applying for jobs, but I did, each time terrified that I’d get called in for a job interview in my zombie state. Toward the end of that I did get called in for a job interview – on a position I applied to BEFORE I got sick – nobody was going to call me back from the drooling blather I put out in the past month. Anyway, I nailed it. They hired me. Even though went to my Linked-In page, which has links to this crazy place, which means they sort of know what they’re getting, they hired me. So I’m about to be employed.

Though this sounds like a bad thing for the future of the blog, I assure you it’s actually good: now I will have more opportunities to interact with the public, which makes for much more frequent stories about me making an ass of myself. So really I did this for you. You’re welcome.

Also, I got totally pancaked by depression. Because sitting still in a chair for a straight month during the first wave of Seasonal Affective Disorder was exactly the worst possible timing. So kind of normal for me.  And with a medical excuse to sit on my ass? Yeah: doomed.

But it finally got bad enough that I got out my light box, and then I got better enough to start going to the gym, and I have the freedom to spend days in bed if that’s what I need (at least for another week or so). Also my friend Susie made me make an appointment with a Psychiatrist because my family doctor’s attempts weren’t cutting it. Thank goodness for good friends who will stand over you if that’s what it takes for you to take care of yourself.

So I’m doing better now, though I’m a little panicked about having to be at a job every day because what if I can’t handle it anymore? I don’t have my crazy bottled up so tightly anymore so it’s more likely to spill out, and I’m much more likely to want to take care of myself than before. I know I’ll build up calluses again and I’ll be fine, but the last time I had a full-time clerical job was 9 years ago and I’m just not the person I was then anymore. Hopefully that actually means I’m better than I was. Still, I think as much as I need the structure I’ll miss the freedom.

Anyhow, life is finally getting back to normal so I might finally have something to say other than “hang on, I just have to finish this row.”

Talk to you soon.