Snarkeling

Just beneath the surface of normal

UPDATED: Shower of Awesomeness (now with much less awesome)

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UPDATED: after I announced to the entire Internet how up I was, it was kind of inevitable that bad news would follow. It did, though shockingly in the form of the passing of the great Terry Pratchett. I feel somehow personally responsible (though obviously I’m not). Certainly I’m ridiculously sad because when I think of how I want to be in the world, he is the person I think of first. I’ll write another post shortly with my own personal remembrance, but it’s hard to write when your eyes are all swimmy. I think I mostly just wrote this update to appease the Internet gods so they won’t kill off anymore of my heroes.

The Internet is just spewing awesome at me this morning. Which is kind of nice, because yesterday was regression day and I made myself sort of miserable. But I guess sometimes you have to go back to see how far you’ve come. So I went home and had a good cry and a nap, and you guys I ATE DAIRY AND GLUTEN MAC AND CHEESE, which is like forbidden love and your first high all rolled into one creamy, glutinous orgasm when it’s off limits. How? Through the miracle of Gluten Cutter I am able to indulge once in a blue moon. Yesterday the moon was bluer than that stupid dress evidently is. It was glorious.

So this morning I got back on the journaling horse and sorted through the stuff crowding my brain and got my mind re-organized to function again. And then I went online, where the Internet was apparently conspiring to make today a whole lot better than yesterday. Also, this isn’t a sponsored post, just things I think are awesome that you, being still here, might also think are awesome.

1. Holy crap, you can now play Cards Against Humanity online!

The majority of my most inappropriate friends are far away, and the prospect of playing a not-exactly-MASSIVELY-but-not-small-either Multiplayer Online game of inappropriateness chicken with them from afar is just about the best birthday present you could give me. I envision it in conjunction with a big Google hangout with wine. I will be setting up a public game in the very, very near future. Look for information in a future post.

 2. Princess Rap Battles

I know I’m late to this show, but in case you are too: How have I never heard of Whitney Avalon before now? Aside from her work on TV, films, theater, web, etc., she writes these hilarious Rap Battles between characters, including Gladriel vs. Leia, Mrs. Claus vs. Mary Poppins, and Snow White vs. Elsa. Today she released a battle between Belle (played by Avalon) and Cinderella (played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, y’all!), which is going viral as we speak – and not just because SMG could get views for picking her nose. This shit is the best since Garfunkel and Oates (who have their own show now – how did I not know that either?!). Thank goodness smart, funny women are a trend…if only online.

3. 90s Hip-Hop

Actually manages to hold up, and I suddenly find myself on a throwback hip-hop kick. I really object to the way Spotify treats musicians, but I can’t help but love the ability to make playlists that include awesomeness like The Humpty Dance and Ladies First. I dare you to feel bad listening to those songs. You will lose, because you simply cannot. Which is actually sort of a win. Except probably for Digital Underground and Queen Latifah. I should probably just go buy the tracks.

4. Prismatic Privacy Film

Sure, privacy, yeah, whatever. You can cast rainbows all the hell over the room. It’s like your bathroom is suddenly the setting for Dorothy Gale’s first acid trip**:

garland1111

“you don’t have to GO ANYWHERE to get to rainbows, man! Rainbows are, like, everywhere. They’re on us right now. If you open your mouth and let them in, you can have rainbows INSIDE YOU! If I were lactating, rainbows would totally shoot out of my tits and I could feed them to the world! Whoa, that’s deep – I should write this shit down so I don’t forget it…. Hey, is that guy really a munchkin or is my vision just that distorted?”

Hopefully these things make your day as thoroughly as they made mine. You’re welcome. Unless you already knew about this stuff and didn’t tell me, in which case thanks a lot. Anyway, excuse me but I have to go buy rainbows for everywhere.

**not that I’m advocating taking illegal substances, because that would be wrong. Unless you’re using it medically. Because somehow that’s different. Also, I kind of miss being young enough to want to do crazy shit like that. Except not really, because then I’d have to be that fucked up again, and yesterday’s anxiety-hole would be permanent. So hooray for adhesive light-benders!

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